Shadows of the Autumn Season
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Last week, I shared a post on How to Descend into Autumn where I walked you through various ways to embrace the spiritual energy of the season. But as is the case with all things in life, the energies of autumn have a shadow side. These are the “negative” manifestations of the themes shared in my previous article and how to go about bringing them back into the light.
Keep in mind, I use the term “negative” loosely. Rather than viewing anything on this list as negative, try to see them as seeds of opportunity. Challenges and obstacles are how you can grow. When you experience something you perceive as “negative,” stop and ask yourself what it is this is trying to tell you. For example, anger might teach you something about what triggers you. Or jealousy might indicate a way you’ve sold yourself short.
This is not a post for judgment so please, do yourself a favor and leave your own judgment at the door. Simply observe and respond to the information you gain. Self-awareness can be life changing when you can dive deep into your shortcomings without being self-critical. When you reach that point, you become truly ready to do the work.
Drowning in Darkness
It's one thing to embrace darker energies but it's something else entirely to get stuck in it. Darker energies like Scorpio or practices like shadow work can feel overwhelming or challenging to navigate. During the autumn months, it's important to protect your energy as much as possible to avoid the heaviness that can occur during this time. Getting into a regular energy clearing practice can help you stay uplifted when you feel like you might drift away in emotional waters.
Ideally, you’ll want to clear yourself and your space weekly. There are many ways to go about energy clearing that don’t require smoke but I do recommend doing a deep smoke clearing at least once a month if you can. However, consider playing energy clearing music, putting on simmer pots, running a diffuser with an energy clearing essential oil blend, or use a ritual spray. In addition to that, there are many overlooked ways you can clear and protect your energy. Here are some things I suggest for the season:
Autumn Cleaning
Consider doing a deep clean of your home. It's common to hear about spring cleaning but Autumn cleaning can help to free any stagnant energy lingering in your space. Deep clean the windows, walls and doors. Vacuum under furniture and dust hard to reach places. This is also a good time to seal any cracks in the floorboard or around windows and doors. Not only will this prevent insects from getting inside but it also prevents negative energy from creeping into your space as well.
Deep Hair Cleaning
Hair carries a lot of energy and can be used ritualistically. You probably clean your hair regularly but perhaps not with the intention of deep ritual work. Sit aside at least one day a week to cleanse hair with a specific blend for energy clearing. You can make or buy a ritualistic shampoo and conditioner for this purpose or add an essential oil blend to your shampoo then take a few moments to infuse it with your intention for healing and protection. Be sure to comb the product through your strands to fully release any negative energy that might be trapped there.
Healing Detox
A malnourished body equals a malnourished soul. If you have been eating a lot of heavy or processed foods, consider taking a day to reset your gut. You don’t need to go on a diet or do something drastic like a water cleanse. Spending the day eating nourishing meals such as fruits and vegetables, fermented foods such as yogurt , brown grains or healing broths can go a long way in removing heavy energy inside your body.
Addicted to Healing
Spiritual healing is a necessary part of any healthy life and is a worthy pursuit during the autumn months. It's the process of understanding and more importantly, accepting who you truly are. It can also be the process of healing old wounds that prevent you from achieving your highest potential. It's about clearing blocks that are created by you or your environment so that you can have the freedom to find happiness, love, compassion, and strength.
When used correctly, the process of healing can make all the difference between a mediocre life and a life that is rich with abundance and joy. When used incorrectly, the process of healing can become addictive and destructive... in some extreme cases, no different from the abuse of drugs or alcohol. Some people are addicted to playing the victim so that they have something to heal. They suffer from always needing to be the "wounded healer". The more they have suffered, the more they feel justified in their need to help others.
Healers need experience of course but purposefully placing yourself in challenging situations is not the way, especially when it becomes a fix you need to keep going. A perfect example would be someone who purposefully goes after the unattainable relationship. For example attaching yourself to someone who is emotionally unavailable and then complaining that your needs aren’t being met. Only to say you’re “healing” when really, you’re repeating a pattern.
This choice can be a conscious choice but is often a pattern of behavior one is not aware one has. It’s important to be honest with yourself about the need to create chaos simply to facilitate healing. Trust me when I say, most of us come into our lives with more than enough to heal for a lifetime. We all have family baggage, most of which spans over the course of generations. Many of us have karmic debt, social conditioning, traumas, poor habits, etc. There are few people, if any, who are completely free from drama and baggage to heal.
Take a few moments to consider whether or not you are calling chaos into your life in a subconscious way, thinking it gives you more experience. Being honest with yourself is also a form of self-care. You need to know what a problem is before you can address it. Having awareness of victimhood provides you with a choice to do better next time or better yet, to catch the behavior beforehand.
The Excuse of Self-care
Self-care and autumn go hand in hand. This season really supports nourishing your mind, body and soul and most of us have a hard time slowing down anyway. However, making time for self-care can easily shift over into finding an excuse to avoid your responsibilities. While you may justify not showing up for a task in the name of self-care, make sure that is really the reason. If you are genuinely tired, overwhelmed, burnout or feeling overstimulated then self-care is a great idea.
However, if you simply don’t want to do something, then be honest about how you feel rather than using self-care as an excuse. If you find you are skipping out on many obligations, take some time to consider the actual reasons for your behavior. Here are some common reasons you might use self-care as an excuse:
Not feeling safe in certain situations or with certain people and wanting to avoid them even though you care for them.
Not feeling safe or confident in your body or appearance.
Feeling as though you have to “perform” to complete a task or to be involved in a group of people.
Feeling obligated to say yes when you didn’t want to do something.
Wanting to hide away or withdraw from society.
You feel as though a task is too overwhelming or outside of your comfort zone.
Struggling with motivation or focus.
Consistently overextending yourself.
These are just a few reasons why you may be using self-care as an excuse but these are certainly not the only reasons. Truly think about what’s preventing you from experiencing life in its fullness this autumn rather than just assuming more baths or meditations are the answer. This could be a symptom of a much deeper blockage. A little investigation can go a long way.
Additionally, know that self-care isn’t just about slowing down. Often self-care is viewed as something relaxing or easygoing but the most important self-care can come in doing the things you probably don’t want to do but contribute to long-term health. For example deepening relationships can lead to feeling more supported and seen. Paying bills on time can lead to more financial intelligence and abundance. Taking time to exercise can lead to feeling more confident and energetic. Getting quality sleep (and not just more sleep) can lead to more clarity and creative ideas.
Failing to Make Decisions
In How to Descend Into Autumn, I mentioned living in the grey area. I think living in the grey is such a wonderful exercise. It can help you see how different parts of your being can be friends rather than competing forces. However, much like using self-care as an excuse, the shadow side of living in the grey can be failing to make a choice. This brings to mind the expression “the grass is always greener on the other side.” If you’re always wondering ‘what if’ then you’ll never find satisfaction where you are.
There’s a big difference between living in the grey area meaning, integrating two opposing parts to form a unified whole. But if you’re using the ‘grey area’ as a way to avoid commitment, then you are experiencing the shadow side of this concept. First, it's important to consider whether or not you actually have to make a choice. Could you bring two options together instead of assuming you can only have one or the other.
Often a failure to make a choice is a sign that you know what choice to make but you don’t want to. If you find yourself at a fork in the road and really do need to make a choice, then it's time to sit with yourself in self-discovery, digging deep to understand which choice is best for you. Deep down, you already know but those answers aren’t always accessible to the conscious mind. In those cases, you need to try on the options with your heart. Bring each choice to mind and pay attention to how it makes you feel. Do you feel energized, excited and even giddy even when thinking about the challenges that could come along with this choice? Or do you feel drained or even a bit of danger? Do you feel your shoulders drop in defeat or you get the sense you’ll miss out on too much by selecting this choice.
