Why ‘Don’t Read for Yourself’ Is Terrible Advice
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Lost Oracle
Tarot and oracle cards are a tool for self-discovery and yet, we’re often told not to read for ourselves. We’re told it's too hard to remain objective when the point of self-reflection is to turn inward rather than relying on external validation.
This is a widespread misconception that encourages spiritual capitalism by encouraging you to seek out professional and often costly readers rather than discovering the power of your intuition and inner wisdom.
As both a professional tarot and oracle deck reader and creator and, as someone who’s been reading for myself for well over a decade, I can tell you that reading for yourself is a beautiful process of growth, courage and healing.
Am I saying you shouldn’t seek out a professional from time to time? Not at all. There are certainly worthy times to invest in a professional reading just as there are times you might want to hire an accountant to do your taxes. Does that mean you can’t manage your money the rest of the year? Of course not. A hybrid approach is the way to go and I think it's time to bust this myth for good.
Where Does this Advice Come From?
I couldn’t tell you the exact moment this advice started swirling around but I can tell you what I believe which is, this advice is probably rooted in fear mongering and gatekeeping. It's a commercial motive used to gear you towards costly professional readings. Typically, you’re told not to read for yourself with the idea being, the cards will only reflect back to you your own biases. But wouldn’t that be true for a professional as well?
When I pull cards for someone else, I am also interpreting through my own bias. Everything I share is filtered through my thoughts and ideas of what this card means which is informed by my experiences, ideas, traumas, and my own level of healing. The same is true for you and every other reader, professional or not.
Professional readers can be triggered during a reading too. Similar to a therapist who might be triggered by their client’s trauma. Does that mean they aren’t able to overcome these feelings, offering an objective pathway to healing for their client? Not at all. In fact, I recently shared a significant trauma in my life with my therapist only to find out she suffered something very similar. She fully admitted to being triggered and asked for a moment to compose herself. She settled, we continued and I had a wonderful experience.
Not to mention, therapists and coaches and teachers and guides use their own healing tools. I can almost guarantee these tools were created because that person needed something to help them in their self-led healing journey so they created it. As creators, we make the tools we need and we share them knowing if we needed it, someone else probably needed it to.
Assuming you can’t be objective in your reading is assuming you can’t be objective in life; that you can’t rise above your programming which I find to be harmful rhetoric. It promotes feelings of “less than” rather than building self-trust and confidence. Saying you can’t read for yourself is a subtle way of saying things like:
You can’t be trusted to know your own mind.
You don’t know what you’re doing.
You can’t understand what your own intuition says.
You’re too emotional or jaded to interpret clearly.
It's true that emotional bias is a real thing but that doesn’t mean you can’t read for yourself. Acknowledge the truth that bias can and does occur. Go into your readings knowing there may be times when you’re seeing through rose-tinted glasses or reading through fear or other complicated feelings.
Like all things in spiritual growth, overcoming a challenge first begins with a reframe. Instead of saying “I can’t read for myself” try saying things like:
I’m learning to read with discernment.
Reading for myself is a chance to confront my own biases.
I’m learning to be honest with myself.
Witch Sister Tarot
How to give yourself clear readings.
It's important to reframe this myth, turning it from something fearful to something positive but that’s only the first step. As I mentioned before, emotional bias certainly does occur so if you want to read for yourself clearly, it's just as important to develop tools and skills to help navigate readings with clarity and confidence. Here are my tips for reading for yourself while reducing any bias you might have.
Create Sacred Space
Drawing circles, lighting candles and incense, and having a dedicated altar might seem like it's just for show but there is actually a practical reason. Doing so creates a separation between your everyday life and your ritual workings. It's a physical ritual of disconnecting from everything else you have going on so that you can focus solely on what’s in front of you.
Speak Your Truth
Before drawing cards, take a moment to be honest with yourself and name your fears or concerns. Name the thing you hope your cards won’t say. Name the thing you hope they will say. Confront these feelings head on so that you’re aware of them going into a reading and are less likely to be influenced by them.
Ask Better Questions
The way you ask questions can really influence your answer. Asking biased questions leads to biased answers. Likewise, asking objective questions will lead to objective answers. Try to avoid yes/no questions as there really is no such thing as a yes or no card. Yes, some people will tell you one card means yes and another means no but that’s wishful thinking in my opinion. The answers will only feel vague and abstract rather than a clear yes or no.
You should also avoid questions like “should I…” or “will I…” in favor of questions like “how can I…” or “what do I need to know about…”
The latter is much more open to different pathways whereas the former is worded to offer validation of your beliefs rather than unbiased information.
Check out my Vault article How to Formulate Better Questions which is included in your membership to the Seer’s Guild. Not a guild member? Join here for as low as $21 per month with an annual membership.
Understand How Tarot Works
Tarot is a tool for reflection, not determining outcomes. The cards will only mirror back to you. They have no power to change or influence an outcome, only to offer information to help you make better decisions. Remind yourself of this when reading cards. And if you’re ever unsure whether or not your interpretation is biased, draw another card asking “What do I need to know about how I’ve interpreted the previous cards?” This clarifying card will help you identify whether or not you’re interpreting in a positive, objective way or if you need to rethink what you’re understanding.
W.I.T.C.H. Oracle
When You Shouldn’t Read For Yourself
Remember earlier when I said sometimes it's worth it to invest in a professional reading? Here are some times you should avoid reading for yourself either because you need to wait or it's better to seek some additional help.
When You’re in Panic Mode
Panic warps perception so it's best to wait until you can calm down before drawing any cards. The only exception might be asking what you should do to calm down but even that question can result in a vague and frustrating answer, especially out of a tarot deck. Consider drawing a card from an oracle deck that’s specifically meant for self-care.
You’re Re-Reading Obsessively.
Asking the same question over and over again will only lead to confusion. The cards will stop making sense and you’ll be left with more questions than answers. If you really aren’t understanding the cards or you just don’t want to see the message for what it is, it's time to reach out for additional help.
When You Want Confirmation Not Honesty.
Seeking confirmation in tarot is sometimes a fool’s errand. For example, if you’re looking for confirmation your partner is cheating on you, it's likely you’re going to interpret the cards as whatever you already believe is true. It also puts the focus on external factors rather than focusing on yourself which is ultimately the goal of reading tarot: YOU. If you’re only seeking validation than consider waiting a day or two before doing a reading. Give yourself time to think things through or purchase a reading.
Ultimately, tarot isn’t about getting the answer correct. It's a tool to help you translate the wisdom from your soul to the logic of your brain. It takes time and practice to refine these skills and to be truly unbiased if such a thing is even possible. Keep experimenting, practicing and above all, keep learning to trust in yourself.
