What Each Major Arcana Card Would Talk About in Therapy

Remember the Tarot Pool Party?

Where The Lovers flirted, The Devil stirred up dangerously delicious cocktails, and The Hierophant regaled us with tales of pools in ancient history?That post sparked so many messages from readers saying,

“This is the first time I’ve ever truly understood these cards.”
“I loved seeing them as people. It just clicked.”

And honestly, that’s why I write tarot the way I do. Because the archetypes in the Major Arcana weren’t meant to stay locked in time. They were never supposed to feel cold, outdated, out of alignment or coded in symbolism that only true tarot scholars could translate.

Tarot should evolve with us. It grows alongside our psychology, our language, and our modern culture. So why not imagine the cards as fully-formed personalities—flawed, funny, and painfully self-aware?

A while back, I wrote about the Secret Shadows of each tarot card—the saboteurs that can hijack a card’s message in a reading. That post focused on how the cards show up under pressure, distortion, or projection.

This one’s a little different.

Today, we’re not just looking at how a card behaves—we’re exploring what it feels, what it hides and what it might say if it finally walked into therapy and told the truth.

Because even The High Priestess has stuff to work through and maybe her stuff isn’t so different from yours.

What Each Card Would Say on the Couch

The Fool

“People think I’m spontaneous, but actually, I just can’t sit with discomfort. I’m restless and love novelty. I take big risks because I don’t know how to pause.”

The Magician

“I’m terrified that if I’m not achieving something, I’m not valuable. I don’t even know who I am when I’m not performing or reaching towards some goal. People look to me to be the best and I feel pressure to keep up apperances.”

The High Priestess

“I have amazing intuition, but I still second-guess myself ALL. THE. TIME. I’m exhausted from always being ‘the mysterious one’—I just want to be understood without having to be overly profound.”

The Empress

“I overgive until I’m depleted and then get resentful that no one cares for me the way I care for them. I’m a nurturer, I get it but also, is it unfair to want someone to nurture me too?”

The Emperor

“I’ve built so many walls to protect myself that now I don’t know how to let anyone in—even the people I love. But I had to put up these walls because I have a vision and if I don’t hold things up, no one else will.”

The Hierophant

“I crave tradition and structure, but secretly I’m afraid that if I question the rules, everything will fall apart. Maybe I don’t actually know what I’m doing or why? And maybe I don’t want to confront the fact that I just blindly follow opinions and ideas that aren’t actually my own.”

The Lovers

“I keep making decisions based on what other people need from me instead of what I actually want. Does love mean I have to sacrifice myself? I know that’s not love but I keep doing it anyway. ”

The Chariot

“I act like I know exactly where I’m going, but I’m mostly just trying to outrun my own fear of failure. Most days, I’m just trying to get somewhere, anywhere but at the end of the day, I’m putting a lot of energy into productivity and most of it is bullshit. I’m figuring things out as I go along to be honest.”

Strength

“I’ve learned to stay calm and collected through anything—but I don’t know how to express anger without guilt. I kind of shove everything down and pretend I’m all good but really, there’s a lion inside that’s trying to eat me from the inside out.”

The Hermit

“I isolate myself for clarity, but sometimes I just don’t know how to be around people anymore and to be honest, sometimes it feels easier being alone. Then no one can disappoint me and I don’t have to answer to anyone but myself.”

The Wheel of Fortune

“I say I trust the universe, but deep down I don’t feel safe when things are out of my control. Actually, it's not so deep. Trusting the universe usually means begging the universe to make things go the way that I want and when they don’t, I panic..”

Justice

“I can’t stop keeping score. I want everything to feel fair, but I know I’m exhausting myself and my friends and family by trying to make it so. I just wish people would take accountability for their actions and when they don’t, I always feel like it's my job to make them do it. ”

The Hanged One

“I’ve been in a state of reflection for so long that I’ve forgotten how to move forward. I’m always plagued with indecision or I always have to check back in but I’m not getting anything done. Reflection sounds philosophical though, I’m I right?”

Death

“I pretend I’m good at change, but honestly, I just burn things down so I don’t have to feel stuck. But now I’m looking around and realizing I’ve burned everything around me and I kind of have nothing left. I really don’t want to start over again but I also don’t know how to stop.”

Temperance

“I say I want balance, but I’m always swinging between extremes. I don’t know what peace feels like without chaos on either side of it. I do try to be balanced but I can never seem to find the right blend and then I just get overwhelmed.”

The Devil

“I know it’s toxic. I just don’t know how to stop. It’s not even about the thing—it’s about how it allows me to hide. For a moment, even a small one, I don’t have to think about all of the shit I have to do or mistakes I’ve made.”

The Tower

“I feel alive in chaos. Destruction is the only place I know how to rebuild from. The problem is that I keep building the same broken foundation and then everything just tumbles. Am I sabotaging myself because it kind of feels like it?”

The Star

“I want to believe things will get better, but sometimes hope feels like a performance. I say all the right things, I do the rituals and practices and all the damn journaling. But I don’t actually feel healed or even like I’m healing.”

The Moon

“I project my fears onto everything. I don’t trust what I see, even when there’s no reason not to. It’s causing a lot of problems with the people around me because I’m always worried something is going on. It’s clear I don’t trust them and I don’t know if I can.”

The Sun

“People think I’m happy all the time. But I feel pressure to be the happy one, the positive one—even when I’m falling apart. And when I’m not happy, I feel like no one sees that. They just expect me to be positive and I need some space to not be ok too.”

Judgement

“I know I’m being called to rise and evolve past my current life, but part of me is scared to leave the old version of me behind. What if I don’t recognize who I become? Or worse, what if I become a terrible person? Or what if people criticize my choices? Or what if I fail at what I really want to do? Or what if I get it wrong? Sigh.”

The World

“I’ve accomplished a lot. I completed the cycle. So why do I feel... unfinished? Why do I always feel like I have to do more, be more. I just want what I have to be enough for once.”

Why This Matters

Because you’ve probably said at least three of these things yourself. Or heard them from a friend. Or thought them right before you pulled a card.

Tarot doesn’t need to be locked away in antiquated symbolism. It should be relatable and it can evolve. It can meet you where you are—messy, ambitious, burned out, hopeful, or human.

And sometimes, the best way to understand the cards is to imagine them sitting across from you on the couch, finally telling the truth.

Tell Me Yours:

Which tarot card would cry in therapy?
Which one is definitely lying to their therapist?
Drop your answers in the comments—or tag me in your story and let’s overanalyze the deck together.